Beyond the Horizon

later, it comes raging back to consume me,  to tear my fragile will apart,  to suck away whatever I have left. then it happens all over again. I miss being a thoughtless toddler. - AK

Sometimes, I think humans are designed to be self-destructive. Our minds don't align with our hearts, and so we seek the things that shall harm us. Adrenaline pushes us to try to fly, even when our logic tells us that we will only drown. We desire company, yet we push it away when it comes along. We fight ourselves; we curse ourselves; we hate ourselves over and over. We want to cry out in despair and pain, but we elect instead to crack beneath the mask of perfection. We want to speak, but we say nothing at all.  And we cannot stop.